You Become What You Give

I’d like to introduce to you a concept, especially around this time of year, when people are making resolutions and setting intentions for themselves in 2022.

Resolutions, as you may have experienced, can be a lesson in failure, as most people sadly don’t even make it to February with their newfound promises.

I have a way that you can experience a different type of change.

One that happens from the inside out this year.

It’s really quite simple in concept, yet the practice of it requires commitment.

In this new year, I invite you to become more mindful of the energy behind why you give what you do in your relationships.

Sounds easy enough, right? Let’s get into it.

The central idea is this: You become what you give.

You especially become the energy of the driving force behind what you give, so the practice in action is to give from a place of fullness and love.

Maybe you’re feeling like you give love constantly but you’re not feeling it reciprocated, or you’re not receiving it back in a desirable way.

Well, chew on this: In order for us to give anything, we have to have a sense of being or having it first.

In order to give something, we have to create it first inside of us in order to give it.

So, if you want to feel love, practice giving love.

If you want to feel appreciated, practice creating appreciation within yourself and extending it outward toward the people you interact with in life.

If you want to feel trusted, create faith within you and generate trust where it starts, with you, and then choose to trust and have faith in those around you.

Many times we think we’re giving love or trust, but what we’re really giving underneath that outward gesture is an uneasy fear that the other person may leave us or an underlying emptiness that we want our partner to fill.Said another way, we give from fear and suspicion, hoping to receive something different from the world.

When we give from that energy –of lack, or fear, or suspicion– we end up creating that experience in our worlds.

This is why it’s important to get behind the intention of why we’re giving because whatever that intention is, is what we cultivate as an experience of ourselves.

So if you’re practicing giving judgment or criticism…

Or if you have a scarcity mindset and are giving from that place, and are wondering why you’re not feeling the warm and fuzzies of reciprocation…

It's because you are ultimately creating and cultivating an experience of lack within you.

So, I invite you to get more mindful about the energy driving your urges to give.

You cannot hide them from others or the world.

Those drivers are created and reflected.

Take a look at them, examine them, and determine if it really is what you would want in return, and ultimately want to be created within you.

Make a practice of giving from love, faith, and respect, and that is what you will end up experiencing within you, and that is what the world will reflect back to you as well.

How does this land with you? I'd love to hear from you. Send me an email at [email protected] and let me know. And if you feel like you’d need a professional nudge to help you move along in the process, fill out this application  to see if we might be a good fit for some 1:1 coaching.

If you’d like a guide to help navigate the dating waters, tune into our webinar: The Three Keys to Being Relationship Ready—How to Attract and Keep A High Quality Man. This webinar will teach you how to notice if you’re powerless around men, distinguish subconscious roles that a lot of women fall into, and reorient yourself so you can rewrite your love story. Click this link to find a time that works for you.

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About the Author

Clayton Olson

Clayton has been empowering individuals and couples from around the world to find harmony and authenticity in their relationships. With a background in Professional Coaching and Neuro Linguistic Programming, Clayton takes a holistic approach to carefully reconstructing what is truly possible for his clients. Through his work he has revitalized relationships, brought together lost loves, and witnessed clients find their soul mates. Clayton's content has been seen on Fox news magazine, Huffington post, the Goodmen project and he's even had an article featured on The View.