Do you find yourself in the same relational dysfunction again and again?
Having the same type of conflict with your intimate partner, maybe your friends or in the workplace…
Attracting the same type of unwanted experiences in your dating life. It can be very easy to feel like a victim of these experiences. Like life is continually dealing you a bad hand until you get the “lesson”.
To transcend this and create a new future reality where this pattern is finally behind you, it's important to realize that you have a significant contribution to its creation.
One elusive way we keep the past repeating itself is by being REACTIVE in situations that trigger difficult emotions.
You feel fear of being abandoned in connection with someone, and you react to that fear with a controlling/needy text message that pushes them away.
You feel angry and behave defensively with a colleague or client, further solidifying an adversarial dynamic.
You feel helpless in your relationship and rush to rescue your partner from some experience that further disables them (causing more rescuing later).
Our inability to BE with emotions like fear, anger, helplessness, or sadness spawns a reaction within us to escape feeling that emotion.
That reaction is ALWAYS from the past and is therefore, how we bring our past self into our present experience.
This strategy guarantees we will experience more of the same because we're showing up the same as we've always been!
So one potent way to start creating a new future with new experiences in the realms of life that are important to you is to…
Instead, when you feel fear, anger, sadness, hopelessness, or any other difficult emotion… PAUSE.
Feel your body. Notice the sensations. Nothing is urgent.
Just observe your thoughts. No action is necessary.
As you expand your capacity to be in this liminal space between stimulus and response, you can step outside the pattern.
As you breathe and experience this “negative” emotion, you rewire your nervous system to have the felt KNOWING that this experience won't kill you and it's no real threat to escape from.
In this critical pause, your mind returns to its creative state, allowing you to respond with clarity and intention.
You find that your next action is born from creating something you want vs. reactively trying to stop something you don't want from occurring.
The latter is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Try this out in your life today. Pause and feel when a challenging emotion visits you.
Take a deep breath, exhale and say, “okay”. Remember, you're always creating; there are no exceptions.
So this is your invitation to create intentionally from a centered place, and watch your life change in miraculous ways.
PLUS, whenever you're ready – here are two more ways you can transform your love life & leadership…
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