Not every relationship was meant to last…
Despite what the typical fairytale leads us to believe, not every person in the world belongs together. Plainly put, breakups happen (if they didn’t, we’d all still be dating the first person who gave us “cooties” back in kindergarten).
While no one can tell you exactly when to end a relationship with your partner, there are ways to know if it's time to end a relationship that is desperately in need of being put out of its misery.
Sometimes when you’re in a union, it’s easy to know when it’s over.
The person you’re with directly violates your trust or shows up in your bedroom in the middle of the night to stare at you while you sleep. Not OK. Other times, the signs you should break up with your boyfriend aren’t as obvious. In these cases, you might not be sure whether you’re in love with this person … at least not anymore.
You might wonder if the fights are worth it.
You’re not sure whether you want to stay or go.
And you’re not sure if you’ll regret your decision the second you make it.
But you can learn how to know when to end a relationship by asking yourself two questions.
Question 1: If you could turn back time to the beginning of this relationship, would you want to stay in it?
In other words, are you staying with your boyfriend because you’re committed to HIM — or because you’re committed to the time you've already spent with him and that you don’t want to
The power in this question is that it allows you to look at what you truly need in the here and now, and it allows you to reevaluate if you’re staying with someone for the right reasons.
Hint: Staying with someone because you’re invested in the time you've spent with them is not the right reason. There must be more than that.
Question 2: If you woke up tomorrow morning and were single again, would you want to date your present partner?
The purpose of this query allows you to put aside your concerns about the potential hurt and hassle of a breakup — the staying-with-someone-because-you-don’t-want-to break-their-heart part — and dig deeper into whether or not you truly like, let alone love, the person you’re with. In regard to knowing when you should break up with someone, realizing whether or not you enjoy that person is sort of essential.
This question also helps you see the reasons you may be refusing to end a union.
Is it because you genuinely enjoy the person you’re with and see a future with them?
If so, great!
Is it because you don’t want to be alone or you’re afraid they won’t be able to handle being dumped?
If so, not great.
Ultimately, knowing when to end a relationship isn’t an exact science.
Sometimes you just know. Other times, there’s a bit of a learning curve and the need for some self-discovery involved.
The above questions will allow you to gauge whether or not your partnership is worth any kind of a fight on your part, even if it’s merely gentle sparing in the corner of the ring.
Getting in touch with your true feelings will provide you with a foundation upon which to continue to build and strengthen your relationship — or upon which to end it.
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This article was originally posted on YourTango.