What Men Want More Than ANYTHING (But Are Afraid To Ask For)

The question “What do women want?” is one people have asked since the beginning of time.

In fact, during the Stone Age, both the ‘shoulder shrug' and the ‘head scratch' head were invented by people pondering this very question.

Unfortunately, this common query fails to include the other half of the partnership: the one with a Y chromosome. So, what do men want? And what do men want most in a relationship?

Just as men have misconceptions about the desires of the female gender, women also harbor misinformation about men, leading many to hold onto beliefs that block intimacy rather than propel it forward. The most problematic of these beliefs is that men only want one thing.

You can probably guess what that is — to cuddle.

Just kidding!

Many women believe that men only want to get them into bed for a no-strings-attached night where they sneak out the morning after. Of course, this assumption is understandable. From Ashley Madison to Tinder, getting online has nearly become synonymous with getting it on: In short, hook up culture is everywhere.

More: You Break Up With Yourself Before You Get Dumped

Still, a woman holding onto the belief that every man is only interested in one thing (or two, if you count breasts) is as unfair as men believing that women are only interested in money. It creates tension, hostility, insecurity, and the ability to destroy a relationship before it even has a chance to prosper.

We recently ran a survey polling around 10,000 single guys, asking them this one question: “What do you want most out of your love life?”

The multiple choice options were as follows:

A. To date multiple women.

B. To date a higher caliber woman.

C. To find a long-term committed relationship.

D. To find and fall in love with the woman of my dreams and marry her.

Based on the preconceptions in the minds of many women, you might assume the men who took this survey mostly choose answers A or B — but instead, the majority picked C or D.

A whopping 86% of these men declared they want most of all to find and fall in with the woman of their dreams and get married.

There’s no argument here with the fact that men want sex — the conscious ones do. But they want an emotional connection as well. The problem is, they don’t always convey this in a powerful manner.

The reasons for this miscommunication vary.

More: 7 Types Of Men Who ‘Seem’ Great, But Actually Make You Miserable!

First of all, men have a narrow and limited view of how they think they are allowed to connect emotionally with women. Many times sex is a bid or a vehicle for them to achieve that connection.

It is the connection that they're after.

A man who tries to get into your pants may really be attempting to get into your heart. Understanding this can help you see men’s penchant for sex in a different light. Yes, they’re horny, but they’re also honorable (let's assume the best!).

That doesn’t mean you need to sleep with every guy who initiates a roll in the hay.

You can maintain your standards while viewing his advances in light of the reality that he’s trying to get to know you by putting out — quite literally — feelers.  

Just as we’re taught gracefulness in defeat, practice grace as the one doing the defeating. Let him down easy and encourage his pursuit, but slow his roll. 

Too often, women take men’s propensity for sex personally. They feel like a piece of meat. And, honestly, who can blame them? Our society does indeed objectify female bodies.

Remember that not all men are Hugh Hefner.

Many are good, decent guys simply looking for a way to get to know you — and going about it clumsily.

Check out the video below to hear more about what men say they want most.

If you want to take your understanding of men and relationships to the next level, get my 8 Secrets To Create A Rock Solid Relationship guide for free by clicking this link.


This article was originally posted on Yourtango.

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About the Author

Clayton Olson

Clayton has been empowering individuals and couples from around the world to find harmony and authenticity in their relationships. With a background in Professional Coaching and Neuro Linguistic Programming, Clayton takes a holistic approach to carefully reconstructing what is truly possible for his clients. Through his work he has revitalized relationships, brought together lost loves, and witnessed clients find their soul mates. Clayton's content has been seen on Fox news magazine, Huffington post, the Goodmen project and he's even had an article featured on The View.