This Question Puts The Power Back In Your Lap


Cycles of change…the seasons, human development, planetary shifts. When we look at these cycles with curiosity we naturally ask “how?”


How do the seasons change?

How do humans develop?

How does the planet shift?


The most empowering way we can look at ourselves and our experiences is to ask “how?”


Circumstances in our lives, be they negative or positive, deserves fair inquiry. When you jump to the question of “why” you move out of fair inquiry.


“Why is this happening to me?”

Or “why can’t I break free from this cycle?”

Or “why me?”


Subconsciously, we use “why” as a move to the defensive, where we look for explanations that lock us into the problem.


“Why” questions further entrench the pattern instead of opening a path for a new way of doing things.


We take the blame and feel the pain when we’re sitting with “why?”, playing detective for something that's inherently flawed within us to explain our unwanted circumstance.

However, when we move on to “how,” we recruit our power back by creating more awareness without blame.


If you’re experiencing something unwanted in your life, consider asking these questions:


“How am I creating this?”

“How exactly did this happen?”

“How would I teach someone to create this same problem in their life?”


Now what these questions do, is invite your mind to look for the very natural process that is creating the situation.


You invite yourself to stand in a place of responsibility and flirt with the wild idea that you are the creator of your experience. And when we witness the process and are able to break it down with curiosity rather than self-blame, we get access to the power of changing it.


I invite you to pay attention to where you might be using the question “why” and begin substituting “how” and see what transpires.


So, what experience are you feeling stuck in right now? Is there a place you find yourself going, again and again, that seems on repeat?


Play with these “how” questions above with a little bit of curiosity and courage and see what you uncover.


And, if you'd like me to help you wield this inquiry to cut to the core of your power, send me an email at [email protected] and let me know your thoughts. 


If you'd like to have a transformative conversation, drop me a line at that same email above and let's start the dialogue to see if we're a fit.


If you’d like a guide to help navigate the dating waters, tune into our webinar: The Three Keys to Being Relationship Ready—How to Attract and Keep A High Quality Man. This webinar will teach you how to notice if you’re powerless around men, distinguish subconscious roles that a lot of women fall into, and reorient yourself so you can rewrite your love story. Click this link to find a time that works for you.


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About the Author

Clayton Olson

Clayton has been empowering individuals and couples from around the world to find harmony and authenticity in their relationships. With a background in Professional Coaching and Neuro Linguistic Programming, Clayton takes a holistic approach to carefully reconstructing what is truly possible for his clients. Through his work he has revitalized relationships, brought together lost loves, and witnessed clients find their soul mates. Clayton's content has been seen on Fox news magazine, Huffington post, the Goodmen project and he's even had an article featured on The View.