|For example: After she moved in, my partner urged me to clean the basement. I could have acquiesced to her requests, perhaps even viewing it as nagging, and “sacrificed” a weekend of my life “to please her”, becoming more and more bitter about it with each passing moment.
Instead, I paused and asked how the act of this clean out would benefit me, how it was aligned with my greater vision of our partnership, and I realized, my girlfriend was just trying to help me up-level my game, become more organized, get rid of the old, and also make more space for her — all good things. Essentially, it wasn’t just her that would benefit, but me too, aligned with a greater vision of who I am as a man.
Viewed this way, it becomes not only an act of love for her, but an act of self-love. The act itself doesn’t change, but the motivation behind it does, and it’s no longer a source of resentment and scorekeeping.
If we reframe the idea of “compromising” ourselves and instead consider the changes we make to be “adjustments” that are aligned with our heart’s desire for the relationship, we open the door to connecting with our partner while also staying connected to ourselves and our own hearts.
Instead of changing for your significant other, what would it look like if you changed for yourself?
How different does it feel to reconnect with the reason you got into the relationship in the first place, and see how that relationship fits in with the larger vision of your life, and then how the action ladders up to all of that?
This is how to stay connected to yourself in a relationship in a way that isn’t a sacrifice and doesn’t breed resentment. This allows you to transform and grow into the best version of yourself on this journey with your partner.
I hope this has given you some insight into how to stay in relationship with yourself while also creating something that’s healthy, long lasting and fulfilling with your partner.
How does this concept land? Where do you see yourself making long-term sacrifices rather than heartfelt adjustments in life?
Also, are you having a hard time staying true to yourself in your current relationship or relationships? Do you need some help to break out of negative thinking around your partner or your life? If so, I may be able to help.
I can help you stop going down the path of resentment. I can you help you come alive in ways that haven't felt possible before. Just click the link and let’s start the conversation to see if we’re a good fit.
Send me an email at [email protected]laytonolsoncoaching.com and let me know. I’d love to hear your thoughts.
And if you’ve enjoyed this post, consider subscribing to my Youtube channel, where you'll find a ton of content like this, and more. I’ve also got a webinar coming up called 3 Keys to Attracting a High Quality Man and a guide on the 8 Secrets to Creating a Rock Solid Relationship. Check these out — I'm sure there's something that will be aligned with what you're looking for.