I heard a quote once that was so unusual it gave me an entirely new perspective on relationships. A man said to his partner when renewing his vows... “I promise to never know you.” At first, I thought, “What? I don’t get it.” It seemed counterintuitive, like an insult to his partner that he wasn’t interested enough to get to know her inner workings. But then I thought about it and it hit me. It actually goes much deeper [...]
Have you ever noticed that the people you desire are indifferent to you, while the people you don’t care about are crazy about you? You’re not alone. It’s frustrating to feel like the person you’re crushing on couldn't care less about you, while the other one who you haven’t given the time of day is completely in love with you. This is actually a phenomenon that I’m going to help you get to the root [...]
Not all flaws in a relationship are created equal – some things are easier to surmount than others. In fact, there are a handful of particular flaws - the Seven Deadly Sins of a Relationship - that are especially lethal. Sin One: Jealousy The green-eyed monster is perhaps never more present than in a relationship. When you love someone, you want them to love you back and when you fear they don’t, envy rears its [...]
We often talk about addiction in negative terms—alcohol, drug, sex, even video games, hours spent on the couch trying to conquer Fortnite. But is an addiction to love a bad thing? When you make him addicted to you, you make him love you, you make him want you, and you make him think about you all the time. In the beginning, this can feel like it’ll set a strong foundation for a flourishing union. And [...]
Abandonment issues are an unwelcome third wheel that appear in many relationships. And they’re the kind of third wheel that never spices things up. Rather, the fear of abandonment can doom a union before it really even begins. This is because abandonment issues play a role in the types of men you choose. When you let them dictate the way, you end up choosing the wrong guy, over and over again. So, exactly how do [...]
Has there ever been a time in your relationships where you said or did something that wasn’t in alignment with your integrity? The words you spoke to your partner that didn’t match with what you were really feeling, or the forced smile you gave while deep inside your stomach was in knots… If you have, then you know the pain of feeling like you're living a lie — and you’re tired of it. You might feel [...]
No offense to Gary Chapman or the important book he penned, but he might have dropped the ball by stopping at five love languages. In our adult world filled with deadlines, stress and responsibility, it's so important to find the time to play, and when you can bring this into relationship, you become irresistible. In the world of dating, it can be so easy to get wrapped up in this idea of finding the "one"—making sure your [...]
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the power of language. You might recall some of my earlier posts where I discussed how powerful language is in creating reality. Today I’d like to continue the thread and talk about a little something called metaphor. I’m sure you’ve heard the term before, but here’s a quick definition. According to Wikipedia: “A metaphor is a figure of speech that, for rhetorical effect, directly refers to one thing by mentioning another. [...]
Do you ever think about the downside of goal setting? I'm here to share a little secret with you that changed my life. Back when I first started out as a coach on my own after leaving the corporate world ten years ago, I was maniacally driven towards success, on a mission to build my business. I had very specific goals about how much money I wanted to make, how many clients I wanted to [...]
If I ask you, “how do you build a relationship that’s healthy and deeply intimate?” what would you answer? You might say that you need to do things like have romantic dinners and deep conversations, spend lots of quality time together getting to know each other’s inner workings. While those are all valid suggestions and might indeed lead to greater intimacy, I invite you to entertain the idea that it’s equally important to be missed [...]