Stop Telling Yourself This Lie…

I have found there are five words we have all likely spoken at one time or another to ourselves, usually after having experienced something painful or doing something we regret.

These five words are: “I should have known better.”

These words may seem innocent (and accurate) enough on the surface, but really, the only purpose they serve is a way to beat yourself up.

Maybe you’re going through a job loss or a breakup and you’re beating yourself up because you think you should have known better and could have avoided a painful situation or have seen it coming before it went south.

Or maybe you believe your internal warning system failed you and had you just avoided a certain situation, you’d be better off now.

My response to this is… No, you actually shouldn’t have known better.

Because if you should have known better, you would have known better.

Let me explain.

Often what we’re doing in these types of situations is holding our past selves to the standards of our current awareness and wisdom.

This wisdom wasn’t available at the time, and in fact, was only gained by going through the painful situation itself.

Without having lived it, the awareness to avoid it wouldn’t be there.

So, it’s illogical.

It’s like thinking you should have invested in Apple in the 1980s but didn't, therefore there’s something wrong with you.

Failure is a wonderful teacher.

The clear awareness that arises from it, and the ability to see things clearly in retrospect, is not something to beat yourself up for.

Your thinking that you should have done better is actually evidence of how you have grown and the new awareness you're standing in right now.  Appreciate that.

In fact, maybe you can thank your failures for the teaching they bring, dust yourself off and continue on with that much more experience and wisdom under your belt.

So, no, you shouldn’t have known better.  But now that you know better, there’s an opportunity to do better, now and in the future.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. Can you relate? Is this something you've ever struggled with in the past? Send me an email at [email protected] and let me know your thoughts.

If you’re wanting to create more power and love in your life I would love to invite you into a conversation with me. Drop me a line at that same email above and let's start the dialogue to see if we're a fit.

If you’d like a guide to help navigate the dating waters, tune into our webinar: The Three Keys to Being Relationship Ready—How to Attract and Keep A High Quality Man. This webinar will teach you how to notice if you’re powerless around men, distinguish subconscious roles that a lot of women fall into, and reorient yourself so you can rewrite your love story. Click this link to find a time that works for you.

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About the Author

Clayton Olson

Clayton has been empowering individuals and couples from around the world to find harmony and authenticity in their relationships. With a background in Professional Coaching and Neuro Linguistic Programming, Clayton takes a holistic approach to carefully reconstructing what is truly possible for his clients. Through his work he has revitalized relationships, brought together lost loves, and witnessed clients find their soul mates. Clayton's content has been seen on Fox news magazine, Huffington post, the Goodmen project and he's even had an article featured on The View.