The beginning of relationships can be tricky for even the most seasoned dater.
From questions, to doubts, to plain old paranoia, sometimes it’s a wonder that any first date leads to marriage. For men, this trickiness is often compounded. That’s because the ball is in your court.
No, it’s not in your court just because you’re a male; it’s here because women are attracted to men of conviction (not to be confused with men who have a conviction). Thus, if you want to learn how to make a girl fall in love with you whose loyal, dedicated and fully has your back you need to start by stepping up to the plate.
Why Men Wait To Commit
Of course, stepping up to the plate is usually easier said than done. Many men wait before committing so that they can properly vet their relationship. They want to hang out with their girl, they want to get to know them. In short, they want to make sure the gal is worth pursuing.
It makes sense to take things slow. It makes sense, but still it doesn’t work. Of all the places to use logic, relationships aren’t usually one of them.
How Inaction Harms You
Waiting hurts you in a few ways. First of all, while you are vetting your relationship, your girl is growing anxious, having doubts, and wondering what is going on. She’s also losing interest. Second of all, your inaction is causing her to become more guarded when she’s with you.
The feminine psyche is like a flower. Sometimes it’s like a rose and sometimes it’s like the plant from Little Shop of Horrors that eats people. Either way, it’s often tender, growing, blossoming, and fragile. It needs support, love, and praise in order to fully surrender.
If it doesn’t have this, its emotional and sexual expression are stifled. To put it simply, if your dating life as a man is dictated by hesitance and inaction, you’re probably not going to be getting any action.
What You Should Do Instead…
So, rather than waiting in the wings, step up and commit: Ask her to be yours before the “ask” gets watered down by the inherent rising expectation, the staleness of the predictable.
When you do this, you put something at risk. Rather than allowing time to naturally usher you into a relationship with her, rather than succumbing to the appropriate timeline that allows things to flow, rather than deciding to be together because you’ve invested so many months together (a “may as well” relationship), step up and put yourself in a place for her to reject you.
It’s exciting, it’s life-giving, and it injects passion into your union. You risk being turned down, of course, but you also set yourself up to reap the reward: she just might say yes.
When you commit to a woman and ask her to be your girlfriend, something beautiful happens; When you commit to a woman, her personality blossoms because you’re making her feel special and safe. She can relax and be open which, in turn, creates an arch of polarity, sexual chemistry that’s built on a foundation of respect, trust, desire, and total acceptance.
Conviction is Sexy
Conviction is sexy – men of conviction appeal to women. Men who are wishy-washy and unsure of when to make a move don’t appeal to women, except for maybe their mothers. But commitment also helps move your relationship along.
In truth, you really have no idea who you’re dating until you fully commit. Until then, you’re merely meeting her representative, the version of herself she feels safe sharing outside the confines of the agreements and boundaries of a relationship. This only wastes everyone’s time.
So, commit to her and watch the shackles of doubt and inadequacy fall by the wayside. Watch her blossom into being herself, fully accepted, wanted, and desired. Only then will she grant you access to her soul.
This article was originally published on YourTango.