I'm going share with you a little known but powerful psychological tool that can virtually change your entire life.
This tool can change your relationships. It can change the way that you date. It can change the way that you experience happiness, the way that you bounce back from challenges, the way you perform in your career —it can change everything in your life.
I bet you’ve heard the phrase, “you create your reality”. Well, today, we’re going to take a look at how you do this from a biological and psychological perspective.
The science we’re exploring is something called the “Reticular Activating System”, or RAS. This is a network of neurons in the base of your brain that act as a kind of filtering system, and it helps you make sense of reality and all of the stimuli you receive in the world. It helps you categorize, prioritize, and identify things happening in your present moment.
If you didn’t have this system, you’d be overwhelmed with stimuli and everything in your reality would have equal priority, making you basically unable to function. We can only consciously focus on seven to nine things at once, and your RAS focuses on those things that are important to you, like safety, and whatever you give attention to.
Let’s take an example: look for the color brown right now in your environment. That’s your RAS at work, allowing you to tune in and focus on one thing, or stimuli. And now I bet you’re seeing the color brown everywhere, right?
The RAS deems what you most focus your attention on, most important.
Where we can run into trouble is with this: your RAS doesn’t care if you’re happy, it doesn’t care if you are creating what you want in the world. Its only function is to ensure the survival of your self-image, your self-concept. It doesn’t care if these beliefs are positive or negative; its purpose is simply to confirm your beliefs about yourself over and over again.So, if you get where I’m going here, the RAS can also drive your life down a negative path if you are holding onto beliefs that aren’t serving you, like “all men are crap”, or “the world is a dangerous place”.
For example, if you believe men are only interested in sex, then you might believe that the only thing you have of value when it comes to men is your body. Your unconscious mind will then find ways to confirm that’s true in the outer world, so you only attract men who truly are only interested in sex.
It might not be the experience you consciously want, but at least it feels familiar. It gives you a sense of safety about who you are and what is going on, and it allows you to feel right about your beliefs.
The certainty of confirmation feels better than the uncertainty of introducing a new belief.
So, how do you use your RAS to get what you want?
Begin by asking yourself, what are the premises you are operating from that are creating the results your experiencing in your life? Look at the experience you’re having, the results you’re getting, and ask yourself:
“What might someone believe in order to consistently create this experience over and over again?”
This question puts the responsibility back on you, and forces you to question your beliefs and to examine how you might be contributing to your outcomes, instead of just taking a passive role of “life just happening” to you. Your life is a reflection of the narrative you’re telling yourself, so who are you being in your own life? Your brain is always looking to prove you right, to give you answers. Whatever questions you ask will direct your focus, and whatever you focus on becomes real.
So, make your RAS work for you and focus on the things you want to create. Start looking for those things you want to bring into your life.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Can you relate? What stories have you been telling yourself? In what areas are you stuck?
Send me an email at [email protected] and let me know. I’d love to hear your thoughts.
And if you’re feeling really stuck and need some help getting out of the proverbial mud, I might be able to help you dig yourself out. I’ve helped thousands of clients break their patterns and change their internal dialogues in powerful ways. Are you next?
Clayton has been empowering individuals and couples from around the world to find harmony and authenticity in their relationships. With a background in Professional Coaching and Neuro Linguistic Programming, Clayton takes a holistic approach to carefully reconstructing what is truly possible for his clients. Through his work he has revitalized relationships, brought together lost loves, and witnessed clients find their soul mates. Clayton's content has been seen on Fox news magazine, Huffington post, the Goodmen project and he's even had an article featured on The View.