Some relationships ARE worth fighting for. Is yours?
Not all relationships are destined to last forever; if they were, we'd all abandon looking for “the one” and simply happily date “the many.”
Some relationships you should walk away from (or, perhaps even run from) but others are truly worth fighting for.
But, how do you know when to say goodbye and when to give things another try?
The truth is, deciding whether or not to get back together with your ex after a breakup doesn't need to fester into a tough, complicated decision. It doesn't have to involve sleepless nights, redundant conversations with friends, or consulting psychic hotlines. In fact, you probably already have your answer and simply don't know it.
Certain relationships have an “everlasting” design, even if you've broken up with each other and said things you've come to regret.
When these relationships are given a second chance, they actually have greater odds of succeeding than relationship that have never wavered. So, how can you know if this is true for your relationship? How can you know if you should even bother trying to get your ex boyfriend back? Well keep reading and at the end of this article there is a short quiz you can take that will help you know once and for all whether your relationship with him is worth saving.
To help you along the way, here are two hopeful signs your relationship is (possibly) worth a second chance …
1. Regardless of how it ended, you respect yourself, your ex, and the relationship
Respect is the foundation for love and trust.
Starting with you — you respect yourself. You're able to take responsibility for your part in the breakup. The beauty of a breakup is regaining time to rekindle the love you have for yourself. Give your heart the time and space to find ways to hold yourself more accountable for yourself and your partner, in the future.
Also, respect that you both did the best you could. This does not mean you couldn't have done better, but allow space for compassion and release blame. You each did all that you could, in the time that you had, with the resources at hand. Starting over is a clean slate; and you're on the path to cleaning up your resentments.
Things were likely said that you regret or felt hurt by, yet in the end, do you still respect your ex's character?
And do you respect the relationship enough to put your love first? Trying to get back together should be in both of your best interest, not to protect or boost your ego and certainly not to justify the time you invested in each other. Breakups let you take time to seek answers to what you need in your life and give your ex the space to do the same.
Your relationship might be worth fighting for if you're putting priority on the two of you, rather than your own validation.
2. You're motivated to get him back using love not fear
Your deepest motivation for getting your ex back must come from a place of wanting to create love, rather than avoiding loss. Often the primary reason for wanting your ex back is just wanting the placeholder of having a partner, because the thing that many women want to avoid is being alone. Sometimes, avoiding being alone (rather than starting over) is worth way more to you than getting out of a crappy relationship.
The key during your breakup is to connect with what you want. You need to ask from the place of, “If I wasn't worried about being alone, what would my reason for wanting to make this work with him be?”
If you can truly connect with and see the “life-giving aspect” of your relationship, then you're ready for the next step in possibly getting back together…
This article was originally published on YourTango.