I’m sure you’ve wanted to experience your own individuality and appreciation for being you. Your man is no different. In fact, men are often forgotten in the midst of being the band on the ring, and not the diamond. The diamond is you. The woman is the gorgeous sparkle, but your man needs recognition for the way he shines and attracts you.
If men get the inkling that they are unseen or underappreciated, they leave.
And sometimes they leave a valuable relationship with a wonderful woman. If you understand and connect with him on a personal, individualized level, he’ll know you see him like he wants to be seen and feel appreciated for who he truly is.
Here are five things you need to hear in order to truly see your man, and catch and keep him:
1. The Truth about the Rules of Engagement
Men want love, belonging, and acceptance. All 3 of these things are different and of equal importance.
Love is sharing deep care and compassion for him. Belonging is allowing him to be invited and welcomed into sharing himself.
Acceptance is welcoming him just as he is. The interconnection of these components is what I call the Rules of Engagement.
Men want to come as they are and feel loved for being themselves. The more you can create an environment with love, belonging, and acceptance, the closer he will want to be with you.
2. See Him Truly
He wants to be seen for his gifts, strengths, and talents. He wants to be seen both inside and outside of the relationship. Meaning, he wants to be recognized for his business prowess, his gift of making others laugh, and his commitment to family. He wants to be seen for the ways he demonstrates his love for you and the way you witness him make an impact on the world.
Men need to feel seen holistically. Maintain balance of how you view him and be sure to reach his deepest core needs when discussing what you love and appreciate about him.
3. Know Him Better than He Knows Himself
Although he is an individual with individual needs, there are ways to do your homework to get to know him.
One of the ways to deepen how you know and understand him is to educate yourself on which type of man he is. When you know the deeper motivations, thoughts, and drives of your man, you can speak to his inner self and support him in becoming his highest and best self.
The ultimate relationship has this quality of understanding and support. You have the power to create this.
4. Give to Receive
Give love and you shall receive love. Give your man the gift of your thoughtfulness, your time and attention to understanding him.
In turn, he will give that back to you. Take action and demonstrate your commitment to the relationship in order to receive that same level of commitment. It’s not about asking for what you want, it’s about demonstrating that you practice what you want.
In effect, this creates exactly what you want out of this relationship.
5. Show, Rather than Tell
There is something about experiential recognition in the male psyche.
To experience an act of love, or action of attraction is linked to love itself. It’s no surprise the old adage says, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”
In the sense of experiencing a delicious meal, it absolutely is an Action of Attraction.
Actions of Attraction are actions that signify your knowing and understanding of his highest self coupled with your giving, compassionate, and loving nature, so act away! These actions are key in demonstrating care, and land on the male psyche more powerfully than words.
Clayton Olson is an international Relationship Coach, Master NLP Practitioner and Facilitator. He delivers private virtual coaching sessions and leads online group workshops. Register for his free webinar that reveals the 3 Keys to Attracting and Keeping a High-Quality Man or grab his free guide 8 Secrets To Create A Rock Solid Relationship, by clicking this link.
This article was originally posted on YourTango.