Why You Need to Break Free From Being a People Pleaser
Have you ever been afraid to bring everything you are into a relationship just for the fear of having it massively backfire on you?
And no, I’m not just talking about the good, positive aspects of who you are…
But also what others might deem as negative aspects of your personality – things like your fears, worries, frustrations and sadness. The second you refrain from expressing your true self – including the negative thoughts and feelings inside you… You’re tucking away a big portion of who you are, and you become a people pleaser. If this is you, then this email will give you the tools to break that toxic pattern for good – so you can start creating those deep, meaningful relationships you desire. Because unless you remove the pattern of people pleasing from your life completely… it’s impossible to create a loving, healthy relationship where your partner loves you authentically – with all your strengths and faults.
“If you try to please all, you please none.” – Aesop
So what actually is people pleasing?
The pattern of people pleasing stems from the belief that, “I am not okay, unless you are okay. ONCE you are okay, THEN I can be okay”.
And unfortunately, in today’s society, it’s as harmful as it is common.
But where does the pattern of people pleasing come from and how can we get rid of it?
For many, the pattern of people pleasing begins when we’re a young child.
For example, have you ever seen a child cry uncontrollably just to have their parents dismiss or completely ignore the fact that he or she is upset?
When this pattern repeats itself multiple times, the child is being taught a lesson that goes something like this…
“If I cry or show too much emotion, I get punished and the love is withheld or withdrawn”.
Fast forward 20, 30 or even 40 years after one’s childhood, and no wonder that so many people default to the pattern of people pleasing – because they’re afraid that love will be withheld or withdrawn.
As a result, we end up in a situation where large numbers of people are simply existing in silent misery…
Afraid to authentically express their true thoughts, feelings and values…
Maybe this sounds like someone you know… Or quite possibly – maybe this sounds like you? If so, I want to help you break the pattern of people pleasing once and for all – so you can achieve the happiness you deserve and attract a partner who loves you for who you are, both good and bad.
If you’d like to experience a dialogue with me to see how coaching can help you break the habit of people pleasing, shoot me an email ([email protected]) and tell me a little about yourself.
Don’t waste another day being sad, lonely or trapped in harmful patterns that are stopping you from having real happiness and loving relationships.
Clayton has been empowering individuals and couples from around the world to find harmony and authenticity in their relationships. With a background in Professional Coaching and Neuro Linguistic Programming, Clayton takes a holistic approach to carefully reconstructing what is truly possible for his clients. Through his work he has revitalized relationships, brought together lost loves, and witnessed clients find their soul mates. Clayton's content has been seen on Fox news magazine, Huffington post, the Goodmen project and he's even had an article featured on The View.